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Have you ever wondered why you make the decisions you do? Why certain things feel more important to you than others? The answer lies in your values. These are the driving forces behind your actions, guiding you toward what you want and away from what you don’t. In this blog post, we’ll dive into the fascinating process of NLP values elicitation, which can help you understand and harness your values to create the life you truly desire.
Values are like an internal compass, guiding your decisions and actions. They are the deep-seated beliefs that motivate you to move toward or away from specific behaviors. In the context of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), values play a crucial role in shaping your goals, behaviors, and overall life satisfaction.
Understanding your values can be a game-changer. When you know what truly matters to you, you can align your actions with your deepest desires, leading to greater fulfillment and success. Values are context-dependent, meaning they can change depending on the situation—whether it’s your career, relationships, or personal growth.
Eliciting your values involves a simple yet profound process of self-reflection. This process helps you uncover what truly matters to you in different areas of your life. Let’s walk through the steps of values elicitation.
The first step is to choose a specific context in which you want to elicit your values. This could be anything from your career to your personal relationships, health, or even a specific decision like buying a car. For example, if you want to understand what drives you in your career, the context would be “career.”
Once you’ve chosen a context, it’s time to ask yourself some important questions. The goal is to uncover what’s truly important to you in that specific area. Here’s a simple yet powerful question to start with:
For example, if your context is career, you might ask, “What is important to me in my career?” Allow yourself to answer honestly, without overthinking or filtering your responses. Write down the exact words that come to mind.
As you begin to answer these questions, it’s crucial to write down your answers exactly as they come to you. Don’t paraphrase or reinterpret your thoughts—just capture them as they are. For instance, if your answer is “respect,” write down “respect” exactly.
To get a complete picture of your values, keep asking yourself the same question until you run out of answers. Here’s how it might look in practice:
Continue this process until you feel you’ve uncovered all the important values related to the context.
Once you’ve elicited your values, the next step is to rank them in order of importance. Ranking your values helps you understand which ones hold the most weight in your decision-making process.
Ranking your values allows you to prioritize them, making it easier to make decisions that align with what truly matters to you. For example, if you know that “prosperity” is more important to you than “recognition,” you might choose a job that offers higher pay over one that offers more public acknowledgment.
Start by looking at the list of values you’ve elicited. Ask yourself:
The value you choose is your top priority. Then ask:
Continue this process until you’ve ranked all your values. Here’s an example of how this might look:
This list represents your hierarchy of values for the chosen context.
Once you’ve ranked your values, it’s essential to ensure that your actions align with them. This alignment is what makes your decisions feel right and satisfying.
To check for alignment, consider a decision or situation in your life and compare it against your ranked values. For example, if you’re considering a job offer, see how well it matches your top values. If the job offers prosperity and respect but lacks independence, you may need to weigh your options carefully.
Here’s an exercise to try:
Just as you have values that pull you toward certain behaviors (towards values), you also have values that push you away from others (away-from values). Understanding these can be just as important in guiding your decisions.
Away-from values are the things you seek to avoid. These might be situations, behaviors, or emotions that you find undesirable or even intolerable. For example, if “stress” is something you avoid at all costs, that would be an away-from value.
To identify your away-from values, ask yourself:
For example, in the context of your career, you might answer, “Working in a toxic environment.” Write down these responses and rank them just as you did with your towards values. Understanding both your towards and away-from values gives you a complete picture of what drives your decisions.
Mapping the meaning of your values helps you understand the deeper motivations behind them. This step involves asking meta-questions that explore what each value truly means to you.
Mapping your values reveals the underlying reasons why certain values are important to you. It adds depth to your understanding and can help you make even more aligned decisions.
For each of your top values, ask questions like:
For example, if your top value is “freedom,” you might ask, “What does freedom mean to me?” Your answer could be “the ability to make my own choices without restrictions.” This deeper understanding can guide your actions more effectively.
Understanding and aligning your values is not just an exercise—it’s a tool for living a more intentional and fulfilling life. Here’s how you can apply your values in everyday decisions.
Whenever you’re faced with a decision, big or small, use your values as a guide. Ask yourself:
By consistently checking your decisions against your values, you’ll find that you make choices that feel more authentic and satisfying.
If you’re interested in learning more about how NLP can help you uncover and align your values, I recommend checking out the book “NLP: The Essential Guide”. It offers deeper insights into how NLP techniques can be applied to various aspects of life, including values elicitation.
For a broader introduction to NLP coaching, be sure to read A Beginner’s Guide to an NLP Coaching Session. It provides a solid foundation on how NLP can be used to achieve personal and professional goals.
And if you’re ready to take the next step and work with an NLP coach, visit our main site to find the right coach who can help you align your values and create the life you want.
Eliciting and understanding your values is a powerful process that can transform the way you make decisions and live your life. By identifying what truly matters to you and ensuring your actions align with those values, you can achieve greater fulfillment and success in all areas of your life.
Take the time to go through the steps outlined in this post, and don’t hesitate to revisit and refine your values as you grow and evolve. Your values are the key to unlocking a life that is not just successful but deeply satisfying.
