A Beginner’s Guide to an NLP Coaching Session: What to Expect and How It Works

Published: 03 Sep 2024

NLP Coaching session

If you’ve ever wondered what an NLP coaching session is like, you’re not alone. Whether you’re a new coach or someone interested in trying NLP coaching, understanding how these sessions work can help you make the most of them. This guide is designed to give you a clear and simple explanation of what happens during an NLP coaching session and how it can help you achieve your goals.

What is NLP Coaching?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) might sound complicated, but it’s really about how we think, communicate, and behave. NLP was created in the 1970s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. They wanted to understand how successful people think and communicate so that others could learn these skills too.

NLP coaching uses this understanding to help people change their thoughts and behaviors in a way that leads to success. Coaches use different techniques and questions to help clients see things in a new way, overcome challenges, and reach their goals.

The Basics of an NLP Coaching Session

An NLP coaching session usually starts with a conversation between the coach and the client. The goal is to find out where the client is right now (their “present state”) and where they want to be (their “desired state”). The coach asks questions to help the client describe these states clearly.

Here’s what typically happens during a session:

  • Introduction and Goal Setting: The coach and client discuss what the client wants to achieve. This could be something like gaining confidence, improving a skill, or overcoming a challenge.
  • Exploring the Present State: The coach helps the client explore their current situation. This involves understanding what the problem is, why it’s a problem, and what might be stopping the client from moving forward.
  • Defining the Desired State: Next, the coach helps the client define their goal. This includes what they want, how they will know they’ve achieved it, and how it will affect their life.
  • Using NLP Techniques: Depending on the situation, the coach might use different NLP techniques to help the client. This could involve changing how they think about a problem, finding new ways to approach challenges, or boosting their confidence.
  • Action Planning: Finally, the coach and client create a plan of action. This plan includes steps the client can take to move from their present state to their desired state.
A Beginner’s Guide To An Nlp Coaching Session: What To Expect And How It Works

Understanding the Present State

The first step in an NLP coaching session is understanding the present state. This is all about figuring out where the client is right now. The coach will ask questions to help the client describe their current situation in detail.

Questions the Coach Might Ask:

  • What is the problem, specifically?
    • This helps the client identify the exact issue they are facing.
  • How do you know that it is a problem?
    • This question helps the client explain why they see this as a problem.
  • What stops you from changing the problem?
    • This explores any barriers or beliefs that might be holding the client back.

For example, if a client is struggling with confidence in sales meetings, the coach might ask:

  • “What happens during a sales meeting that makes you feel less confident?”
  • “How do you know when you’re about to lose confidence?”

These questions help the client become more aware of their thoughts and feelings in different situations.

Defining the Desired State

Once the present state is clear, the next step is to define the desired state. This is where the client wants to be. The coach helps the client describe their goal in a way that is clear and motivating.

Questions the Coach Might Ask:

  • What do you want, specifically?
    • This helps the client get very clear about their goal.
  • When, where, and with whom do you want this outcome?
    • This makes the goal more specific and real.
  • How will you know when you have achieved this goal?
    • This helps the client think about what success will look and feel like.

For example, if the client’s goal is to be more confident in sales meetings, the coach might ask:

  • “How will you feel when you’re confident in a sales meeting?”
  • “What will you see, hear, and experience when you achieve this goal?”

These questions help the client imagine their success, which can make it easier to achieve.

A Model NLP Coaching Session

Now that we’ve covered the basics, let’s look at how an NLP coaching session might play out. This example will give you a better idea of what to expect.

Scenario: Improving Sales Confidence

Client’s Present State: The client feels nervous and unprepared during sales meetings. They believe they are not good at sales because they have struggled with it in the past. This belief holds them back from performing well in meetings.

Coach’s Questions:

  • Coach: “What is the problem, specifically?”
  • Client: “I’m not confident during sales meetings, and I feel like I’m not good at sales.”
  • Coach: “How do you know that this is a problem?”
  • Client: “I get nervous, I don’t close deals, and I feel like I’m failing.”

Client’s Desired State: The client wants to be confident in all sales meetings and increase their sales revenue by 30% by the end of the year.

Coach’s Questions:

  • Coach: “What do you want, specifically?”
  • Client: “I want to be confident in sales meetings and achieve a 30% increase in sales.”
  • Coach: “How will you know when you’ve achieved this goal?”
  • Client: “I’ll feel calm and prepared in meetings, close more deals, and see my sales numbers go up.”

NLP Techniques Used: The coach might use techniques like “Anchoring” to help the client feel confident by associating positive feelings with sales meetings. The coach might also use “Reframing” to help the client see their past sales experiences in a new, more positive light.

Action Plan: The coach and client create a plan where the client will practice new sales techniques, learn more about sales strategies, and use positive affirmations before meetings.

Powerful Questions in an NLP Coaching Session

A Beginner’s Guide To An Nlp Coaching Session: What To Expect And How It Works

A big part of what makes NLP coaching effective is the use of powerful questions. These questions help the client think differently and discover new solutions. Here’s how these questions work.

Open Questions:

Open questions can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” They encourage the client to think deeply and share more information.

  • Examples:
    • “What would you like to achieve from this session?”
    • “How did you handle a similar situation in the past?”

Effective Questions:

Effective questions help the client gain clarity, challenge their current thinking, and explore new possibilities.

  • Examples:
    • “What would success look like for you?”
    • “What steps can you take to move forward?”

Solution-Focused Questions:

These questions shift the client’s focus from the problem to the solution. They help the client think about what they want, rather than what’s holding them back.

  • Examples:
    • Problem-Focused: “What’s the problem?”
    • Solution-Focused: “What would you like to achieve?”
  • Problem-Focused: “Why is this an issue?”
    • Solution-Focused: “When have you successfully handled something like this before?”

Using NLP Coaching Models

While NLP doesn’t have a strict model for coaching, there are some frameworks that coaches often use. One of the most common is the Present State – Desired State model. This model helps coaches guide their clients from where they are now to where they want to be.

Outcome, Intention, and Consequences Process

This process is a bit more detailed and can be especially helpful for new coaches. Here’s how it works:

  1. Establish an Outcome:
    • Work with the client to clearly define what they want to achieve.
  2. Identify the Intention:
    • Understand why the client wants this outcome. This helps make sure the goal aligns with their values and is something they truly want.
  3. Check for Evidence:
    • Ask the client to describe how they will know they’ve achieved their goal. What will they see, hear, and feel?
  4. Identify Resources:
    • Help the client identify what they need to achieve their goal. This could be skills, knowledge, or support from others.
  5. Check for Congruence:
    • Make sure the outcome is something the client really wants and is willing to work for.
  6. Plan for Consequences:
    • Discuss the impact of achieving the goal. How will it affect their life, work, and relationships?
  7. Set a Time Frame:
    • Make sure the client has a clear timeline for when they want to achieve their goal.

The Benefits of NLP Coaching

NLP coaching can be incredibly powerful because it helps clients make changes at a deep level. By focusing on how we think, feel, and communicate, NLP coaching can help people overcome obstacles that have been holding them back for years.

Some of the Key Benefits Include:

  • Improved Confidence: NLP coaching can help you feel more confident in different areas of your life, from work to personal relationships.
  • Better Communication: NLP teaches you how to communicate more effectively, which can improve your relationships and help you achieve your goals.
  • Overcoming Limiting Beliefs: Many people have beliefs that hold them back, like “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t do this.” NLP coaching helps you change these beliefs so you can move forward.
  • Clearer Goals: By working with an NLP coach, you can get clear on what you really want and create a plan to achieve it.

Summary of an NLP Coaching Session

An NLP coaching session is a structured conversation that helps clients move from where they are now to where they want to be. The coach uses powerful questions and techniques to help the client gain clarity, overcome challenges, and take action toward their goals.

Key Points to Remember:

  • Present State vs. Desired State: The session starts by understanding where the client is now and where they want to be.
  • Powerful Questions: The coach uses open, effective, and solution-focused questions to guide the client.
  • NLP Techniques: Techniques like Anchoring, Reframing, and the Outcome-Intention-Consequence process help clients make lasting changes.
  • Action Plan: Each session ends with a clear plan of action for the client to follow.

Next Steps: Finding an NLP Coach or Becoming One

If you’re interested in trying NLP coaching or becoming an NLP coach yourself, there are many resources available to help you get started.

  • Looking for an NLP Coach?
    • Visit Ifigrow.com to find qualified NLP coaches who can help you achieve your goals.
  • Want to Learn More About NLP Coaching?
    • Check out ANLP for more information about NLP and how it can help you.
    • Explore training options at UKCPD if you’re interested in becoming an NLP coach.

Conclusion

Whether you’re a coach or a client, understanding the basics of an NLP coaching session can help you make the most of this powerful tool. By exploring your present state, defining your desired state, and using powerful questions, NLP coaching can help you achieve lasting change and reach your goals.

Feel free to share your thoughts or experiences with NLP coaching in the comments below. And don’t forget to subscribe or follow our blog for more insights and tips on coaching and personal development.

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